Tips to Tame the ‘Sunday Scaries’ with Kia-Rai Prewitt, PhD

Podcast Transcript

John Horton:

Hello, and welcome to another Health Essentials Podcast. I'm John Horton, your host.

If you're a Monday to Friday worker, odds are, your two favorite days of the week begin with the letter S. Saturdays and Sundays are where the fun lives after all. It's a two-day stretch where you can focus on what you want to do without clocking in at your job. But weekends eventually end, and that can be tough to take. For some folks, it can result in what's known as the Sunday Scaries, best described as a growing angst about the start of another work week. We're going to explore this fear today with psychologist Kia-Rai Prewitt. She's one of the many experts at Cleveland Clinic who pop into our weekly podcast to help us get a little more out of life. With that, let's find out what we can do to help Mondays land a little more gently. Welcome to the podcast, Dr. Prewitt. Glad to have you here, even if it is to talk about something that terrifies a lot of people.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Thank you, John. I'm so glad to be here.

John Horton:

Our topic today is something known as the Sunday Scaries, an alliterative way of expressing the dread that many folks fear as the weekend winds down and they start thinking about returning to work. The more official term for this is “anticipatory anxiety.” Can you break down what's going on in this situation?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Sure. The Sunday Scaries is really common for a lot of people, and like you said, it's anticipatory anxiety, meaning that you are anticipating something that could happen. For a lot of people, the work week is very hectic, and so the weekend is a really nice time to relax. We are a very busy society, so sometimes the weekend can also be very hectic, and so you may not ever feel like you have enough time to unwind, and next thing you know, it's time to prepare for work again. And so it's really just that anticipation of a stressful either day or a stressful week.

John Horton:

Yeah, and that anticipation is always the worst.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yes.

John Horton:

It always hit harder than what it normally does.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

For sure. The anticipation is that worrying, right? You're imagining that something bad could happen, you're imagining that you could get overwhelmed. You might imagine that you might have an email waiting for you, or maybe you didn't finish something before the week ended and so you know it's waiting on you when you log in on Monday morning.

John Horton:

Yeah, and I'd say it is just stunning how many people seem to deal with this. I saw a LinkedIn survey that found that 3 out of 4 people, 75% of employees, experience Sunday Scaries in some way. I mean, is it really that common?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Honestly, it doesn't surprise me. Just even looking at the patients that I see, it is very common that we are talking about work-related stress, and so having 3 out of 4 people anticipating the work week really sounds about accurate, just even giving my patients. I think, just people just have so much on them and so many different responsibilities, never feeling like you've ever really completely finished your tasks, and so it makes sense to me that a lot of people will be worried about this and struggle with this.

John Horton:

Well, in case my boss is listening, I love coming in every Monday, so no worries from me here.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

That's great. You're that 1 out of 4.

John Horton:

Yeah, I can be that one.

What are some of the signs that you might be dealing with the case of the Sunday Scaries? How is it going to present itself to you?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Sure. As you are getting closer to the beginning of the work week, you may notice that it's harder to enjoy yourself. So maybe on a Sunday afternoon, you plan to hang out with a family or maybe read a book and do something by yourself, but you find yourself thinking about what you have to do when you get to work on Monday. So if you can't focus on what you're doing in the moment, and you're more thinking about the long list of tasks that you have to do or who you might have to talk to, then that's when you know you're probably dealing with the Sunday Scaries now.

John Horton:

What you just mentioned is very much mental. You just start thinking about those things that are coming up. Does it also present in just actual physical ways, where it grips your whole body?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

For some people, their anxiety can get so high where they actually have panic attacks. And so usually with a panic attack, it may come out of nowhere. Whereas for other people, it may be because they are thinking about something that causes them a lot of worry, and so they're going to have physiological signs. They may notice pain in their bodies, they may notice a headache. A lot of tension in the neck and shoulders as well is very common when people have anxiety — you may talk about it a lot. Again, it might be hard to focus. So those are also some other things that you may see.

John Horton:

I imagine that can also interfere with your sleep, because I know whenever you have things that are in your head or you start worrying about it, you cannot catch those ZZZs.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yeah, that's actually really common for a lot of people, and that's something I talk about a lot. I ask people, Is your mind racing? And so you may find, like you said, having difficulty falling asleep because you're thinking about all the things that you have to do. For some people, they're able to fall asleep, but if they wake up in the middle of the night, they may find themselves thinking about what they have to do at work.

John Horton:

I mean, it sounds like so much of this is just, as we all do at times, you work yourself up and you can get that racing heartbeat and you can even start sweating.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yes.

John Horton:

I read one thing where they're like, they even tie Sunday Scaries … people have heart attacks, which it's hard to believe that something works you up that much, just this anticipation, this dread of coming in on Monday.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yeah, I think when it gets to that level, it's probably because of some other thing that is happening at work that that person is anticipating. So if they're experiencing some type of workplace bullying, or if they're anticipating layoffs, or maybe they have to be the one laying off someone, or they have to have a difficult conversation, or they have an environment that's not really friendly or collegial. So it's possible that there's probably some stressors, some major stressors at work that they may feel like they don't have any control over that's probably leading to that severity of anxiety.

John Horton:

Can Sunday Scaries even push somebody toward symptoms of depression and things like that?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Again, if you are dealing with some type of uncontrolled anxiety, and it could be situational — so maybe when you're at home on the weekends, you're just fine, but maybe once you get to work, you notice that you're anxious all the time, you notice that you're unmotivated, you might feel depressed. Some people feel depressed because they are anxious or because they're unsatisfied in their work. So yes, it's very possible that it could lead to depression as well.

John Horton:

So what sets all this off? I mean, is it really just work-related and we don't want to be at the office or does it go a little deeper than that?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

I think it depends on the person. For some people, they have what we call “generalized anxiety.” And so generalized anxiety, there's a lot of worry about a lot of different things. Work just might be one of those things that they can be anxious about; whereas for others, it might just be situational. So I really think it depends on the person.

A lot of times, what works people up, as you said, is just how we're thinking about things. So if we're thinking worst-case scenario, a lot of times, it will cause fear for us. Or if we assume that something bad is going to happen, or that we're not going to have control over what happens to us, we'd like to have control. If there's something that we feel like we might not have control over, again, based off of what you're telling yourself, it could really lead to that anxiety reaction.

John Horton:

It really sounds like the Sunday Scaries can be the sort of thing that can spiral on somebody, too, and you start worrying about it, and then you start worrying a little more about it, and then pretty soon, you just go into a full-fledged … you're down that rabbit hole.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

And at that point, that's when I talk to people about, well, let's see what else is going on, because it also might be another stressor that has not been addressed, and it's just taking root on a Sunday as you're anticipating work. Maybe you have something else that you need to deal with and you haven't had the opportunity to deal with that, or maybe you don't have the tools or the resources, and so it might be that it's presented as the Sunday Scaries because you have to go to work and finances is important — for some people, missing work is not an option. And so there might be this anticipatory anxiety about that because it takes away maybe from time to address other stressors that might be happening.

John Horton:

All right, well, since nobody should live in fear, let's talk about how we might be able to tame the Sunday Scaries. Can you give us some tips to calm this internal chaos?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Sometimes, it's prevention. I always talk to people about prioritizing. So if it's maybe you are prioritizing doing a project, right? And so it may be figuring out, are you making everything a priority? And maybe you need to shift your priorities and maybe try to focus on one thing at a time so that you don't have this [anticipation] — I'm sorry, anticipation. I can't talk today.

John Horton:

I stumbled over it, too, it's going around today. I know, I was like, just “anticipatory anxiety,” it doesn't feel right coming out.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

I said, "Let me take a pause. Wait, that is what I meant to say."

You might have to prioritize your schedule, and for some people, it means maybe wrapping up things at the end of the work week so that you aren't as anxious when you start the work week on Monday.

The other thing I talk to people about is, sometimes, the work is never going to be finished. There's always work that has to be done, and at some point, you just have to stop. So just knowing that there's always going to be a continuous workflow and accepting that sometimes can be helpful.

And then, I also tell people just to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is really just trying to focus and be present in the moment.

And so when you notice you're worrying about the future, you might be worrying about something that you can't control, worrying about something that might not even happen or you are assuming worst-case scenario, catch yourself and try to bring yourself back to the present and say, "You know what? On Monday, I'll deal with that if I need to. Right now, let me just focus being here."

John Horton:

With that whole concept of mindfulness, which I know we've talked about on this podcast multiple times, do you even advise people to maybe even make that part of your routine? If you know you have this problem on Sunday, schedule in some yoga or walk through the woods or something like that just to clear your head and find that relaxation?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yeah, I think that's a great point. Mindfulness … there's so many different ways to practice mindfulness, which is great. And so for some people, practicing mindfulness is just taking a few minutes just to be still and just focus on their breathing. And when you're still, you might be able to notice your thoughts and your feelings, maybe how your body feels. For other people, mindfulness could be taking a walk and just really paying attention to your surroundings. And so yes, I think that's a great idea to practice it before you get into a situation where you're already anxious. It's like if you're already practicing it, it's a lot easier to put it into place in those situations where you might have that anticipatory anxiety.

John Horton:

What about just even staying busy on Sundays? I know my days disappear with yard work and all the other stuff that comes up, grocery shopping for the week — all that helps take your mind off of what's waiting for you at work on Monday.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

If it's a good distraction. So in some ways, you're talking about distraction. For some people, yes, finding time to focus on other things that bring them joy can be really helpful to manage anxiety. Whereas for others, it might increase their anxiety if they feel like they're running out of time. And so if your weekend is really busy and you're booked running around doing errands, maybe you have kids or you're caregivers or you're taking folks to doctor's appointments, ordered events, maybe you have events to go to for yourself… So sometimes, that actually can create more anxiety if you're booked that whole weekend. But if it's for a distraction and something that brings you joy, you feel like you can be present, I think that actually can be very helpful.

John Horton:

See, this is where every single person is different, so you have to find … it sounds like a lot of this is finding that key that will help you unlock this and really release that problem.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yeah, I think that's a great point, too — so what might work for one person may not work for someone else. I think it really is just finding your niche or finding your area and really trying to focus on what is it that I can do so that I'm not so worried about the work week. And really, I think that mindfulness will help you do some self-reflection, too. So really, maybe asking yourself some questions, like, What is it about going to work on Monday that's causing me to feel this way?

John Horton:

Well, and that's one of the things … I think there's a point where you need to be honest with yourself and look at what the cause of this might be. I mean, is it just that you're anxious about something going on at work or a meeting or is it something bigger? I mean, you have job burnout or should you be getting to your resume polished up because the environment there has gotten a little toxic? Could this be a sign that you need to look a little deeper, too?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Oh, for sure, and that's a question I ask people, too. Are you happy at your job or what's going on? Because sometimes, people don't necessarily have an awareness that they're experiencing some type of stress at work or, like you said, burnout. Yes, I think taking that time to reflect: If I don't like who I'm working with or I actually don't feel challenged at work or I feel like I need some type of promotion — so I think just exploring and really digging deeper can be very helpful in addressing anxiety.

John Horton:

Sometimes, you don't even realize that, as you said, it's almost like it's that frog in the boiling water analogy, where it's like the temperature keeps going up around you and you get used to it. It's not until you leave that you go, "Man, that was really not a good setup for me."

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yeah, and I see that a lot because I'll have people say, "Oh, I need to work on how I react in situations." And then I start asking more questions. I'm like, "Well, actually, I think this is a pretty normal reaction given what you just described."

And then the other side of it, like you said, some people are just so used to dealing with certain situations and being on edge that they don't realize that that's actually not normal.

John Horton:

I even saw some tips, when you look online for this, where they talk about making Monday morning special. If you're that consistently worried about it, always plan to stop and pick up a special coffee or have something nice for breakfast. I mean, are those just mind games we can play with ourselves or just does it take the edge off a little?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

I think if you have time in your schedule to do that, sure. I think you do have to sometimes tell yourself it's going to be OK or this is going to just be a terrific Monday, because sometimes, Mondays can be so hectic anyway and it takes a lot of adjustment.

And so I'll do this with some of the staff in my office. I'll just send a message like, "Happy Monday."

Or I might tell myself all the way to work, "It's going to be a great week," or "I'm going to do whatever I can to make this a great day." But yeah, I think if that works for people, sure, go for it.

John Horton:

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only person who sends out Happy Monday messages. I do the same thing and I feel like some of it is a mindset where you just want to go, "You know what, man, we're back. It's going to be good."

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yes.

John Horton:

And I'm also a big Fri-Yay guy, too.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Me, too.

John Horton:

So I'm playing both ends.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Dance emojis. Yeah, I'm a happy Fri-Yay person. And some people might get annoyed with it, but whatever, if it works for you, I think you should do it. And I think people appreciate it, right? Because it just normalizes how a lot of people feel when they come in on Mondays, and so when somebody says like, "Hey, let's have a happy Monday." I think people are collectively willing to say, "Yeah, OK, we're going to shift our mindset." And then, like you said, the Fri-Yay. It's like, "Yes, we made it. We just got to get through this day," so I think that's great.

John Horton:

Well, a lot of these suggestions that you threw out there really make a lot of sense, the mindfulness, and they just seem like good care items.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yes.

John Horton:

Taking care of your thoughts and just getting yourself in a good spot, getting enough sleep, exercise, I mean, all those things fit into just a healthier person. So if you do all of these things and you're still … those Sunday Scaries just will not go away, what's the next step?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

I would consider … so one, it could be talking to a friend about it or a family member to see if that could help. But if you're noticing, OK, I'm talking to my friends and family about it and I'm still having this anxiety, then I would definitely recommend talking to a professional. For some people, it may just be talking to their primary care provider about it and seeing if maybe some type of mental health support would be appropriate, whether that's talk therapy or even medication. If you already have a mental health provider, I would definitely talk directly with them about it.

John Horton:

Yeah, it sounds like, as we said, there's a huge scope that we're talking about here where you could be a little nervous or it could be the sign of something more going on. It sounds like you really got to do a little analyzation of what's going on with you and then take those steps.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

And that's part of mindfulness is self-care really stopping and paying attention to yourself and noticing, am I noticing that I'm irritable all the time? Am I noticing that I have headaches a lot? Or do I have a lot of tension in my body? Am I having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Am I snapping at people, irritable all the time? So if you're starting to notice these things, or somebody gives you feedback like, "Hey, I noticed you seem to be on edge a lot," those could be signs that this is a little bit more serious.

John Horton:

Yeah. Well, Dr. Prewitt, hopefully our chat will help people turn the Sunday Scaries into some Sunday smiles. But before we say our goodbyes, do you have any other words of wisdom to share to help folks gear up for a new work week?

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Yeah, so I would say when you notice that you're starting to talk a lot about work, especially on that Sunday, just really try whatever you can to just refocus yourself into the present, connect with the people around you. If you're home by yourself, maybe take a walk, call a friend, watch your favorite movie, but do something that brings you joy. The other thing is reminding yourself, OK, some of the things that I might be thinking about, it may not be that bad, or maybe I can ask someone for help. So it's really just, I think being mindful of what it is that's happening and doing something to take care of yourself in the moment.

John Horton:

That sounds like great advice, and I can tell you when this next weekend hits, I'm going to clear my mind of all work stuff until I clock back in on Monday.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

Good luck.

John Horton:

Dr. Prewitt, thanks so much for coming in, and I really appreciate your time.

Dr. Kia-Rai Prewitt:

You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

John Horton:

It's understandable to be bummed about a weekend coming to a close, but that doesn't mean those final hours should turn into a Sunday Scaries with worries about the work week ahead. So take a deep breath, do a little self-care and focus on the positives, including the reality that another weekend is just five days away.

If you liked what you heard today, please hit the subscribe button and leave a comment to share your thoughts. Till next time, be well.

Speaker 3:

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